What is your real goal?

Do we want to “lose 10 kg 22 lbs” ? Do we want to “be 55 kg 121 lbs again” ?
To sum up, our goal is to lose weight. So we will reach our goal when the numbers on the scale would drop down when we are on it (the scale, not the goal).

Those are the simple and fast tricks to lose weight fast.


Tricks to lose weight

  1. Trick to lose a lot of weight

This is the most efficient trick to lose a lot of weight. But, fear and hesitation will drag the result.

To do :

  • Weight yourself. be carreful to take note of all the details of your weight (grammes once, …) so you will know exactly how much you have lost.
  • Cut any part of your body with a knife or an axe : finger, hand, arm, foot, neck, thigh, …
    The more heavier the part you have cut weight, the more you will lose weight.
    If you don’t want to suffer, use some anesthesia.

Pride feels no pain“.

  • When you’re finished, weight yourself again (ask for help i you can’t do it yourself, mainly if you have cut your feet or your arms, or both).
    TADAH ! You have lost weight.

You will need :

  • A healthy body ;
  • A scale ;
  • A pointed knife or a pointed axe (axe is a right choice because it cut fastly) ;
  • A crazy mind ;
  • Some anesthesia so you won’t feel the pain.

Perquisite perks of this trick  :

  • A big weight loss (according to the cut part) ;
  • Less expense of water and soap (and mostly time) when you take a shower because the surface to be washed is slightly smaller.

Disadvantage of this trick :

  • Awful pain that can cause death because the body is not meant to be treated like that ;
  • You will lose a useful part of your body (because we need all part of our body).

Of course, I don’t bame you if you don’t have the gut to do that. And I’m sure that you’re not crazy.


Of course, this article was not meant to encourage self harm. I have written this article in order to inform you with a pinch of humor that it’s too easy to lose weight without losing fat.


  1. Trick to lose weight fast

This is the most efficient trick to lose weight fastly (about 3 to 15 mn of waiting).

To do :

  • Weight yourself. be carreful to take note of all the details of your weight (grammes once, …) so you will know exactly how much you have lost.
  • Go take a shit pooh.
    The result will be more significant if you do it after a binge eating because your shit poop would be more important (a lot).
  • When you finish wiping your ass butt bottom et took a shower, weight yourself again.
    TADAH ! You have lost weight.

You wil need :

  • A body full of shit crap turd pooh ;
  • A scale ;
  • A bathroom or a potty ;
  • Some paper to wipe your ass butt bottom ;
  • A crazy mind.

Perkquisite perks of this trick  :

  • Losing weight fast and no need to wait too long (3 to 15 mn – no more than 1 day).

Disadvantage of this trick :

  • Asshole anus pain, intestines pain, tummy pain, and can even cause a colon cancer if it happen a lot ;
  • Not that much weight loss because you only lose water, shit turd crap pooh from your intestines, and minerals and not fat.

Of course, I don’t bame you if you believe that pooping canslim you down. Oily substance can go with your shit crap pooh when you have a bad case of diarrhea, so you think that it is a part of your fat. But, tell-me : how many of your acquaintance and family have lost 10 kg 22 lbs just by taking a shit pooping ?


Of course, this article was not meant to encourage consumption of laxative products in order to have a bad case of diarrhea. I have written this article in order to inform you with a pinch of humor that fat doesn’t quit the body through your shit crap pooh, even if we are tempted to believe it.


  1. The most logical trick

This is the most logical trick.

To do :

  • Changez de but !
    Ne vous concentrez plus sur votre poids, car de multiples facteurs peuvent le faire décroître sans que ça ait avoir avec une perte de gras.
    Ce que vous recherchez, ce que vous désirez réellement, c’est de perdre du volume (l’extension dans l’espace physique) : de ne plus être gros/grosse, quoi!
    Ainsi, vous ne devrez pas vous focaliser sur votre poids mais sur votre corpulence.
    Comment connaître votre corpulence ?

    • Mesurer son corps (tour de taille par exemple) ;
    • ou voir si vos vêtements sont devenus plus amples (vous avez maigri) ou plus serrés (vous avez grossi).
  • TADAH ! Vous vous concentrez maintenant sur votre corpulence et non votre poids qui dépend de bon nombre de facteurs (qui n’ont rien à voir avec la perte de gras la plupart du temps). Et vous savez maintenant quoi faire pour maigrir (perdre du volume).

You will need :

  • A healthy body ;
  • A mesuring tape ;
  • Everyday clothes ;
  • A trash can to throw your scale ;
  • A healthy and logical mind.

Perkquisite perks of this trick  :

  • Become thin : lose fat ;
  • Don’t spend money to buy products that makes us lose weight anymore ;
  • Not being affraid of weighing yourself anymore, not giving a shit caring about your weight anymore ;
  • To be more conscious of your body.

Disadvantage of this trick :

  • Focusing too much on size and not on enjoying life.

Of course, I don’t blame you if you don’t believe that changing your goal means a lot.
However, pursue a chimera (a wrong goal) can motivate us to look for solutions that doesn’t even solve our real problems but others.

  • You want to lose 10 kg 22 lbs so you can attract Kevin. That’s your real goal.
  • You want to lose 5 kg 11 lbs so you can wear that cute little dress that you bought for your sister’s wedding. That’s your real goal.
  • You want to lose 15 kg 33 lbs to see love in the eyes of your future husband at your wedding. That’s your real goal.
  • You want to weight 55 kg 121 lbs again, like before your pregnancy, so you can avoid seeing your husband being disappointed or regret because of the change on your body and on your habits. That’s your real goal.
  • etc.

To conclude :

You don’t actually want to lose weight or to lose volume. Your real goal is to be happy or find happiness.

  • I will be happy if Kevin, my crush, would love me.
  • I will be happy when I can wear this cute little dress.
  • I will be happy if the guests (especially women) notice the reflect of love in the eyes of my future husband at our wedding.
  • I will be happy if my husband love me even after my pregnancy.
  • etc.

So, after all, what is your real goal?

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